Finding You
by whiteblossom143
Summary: Two years after Hogwarts and Lily Evans is moving onwards and upwards in the world. She's just been promoted, she's got her three best friends and she's living the single life she's always wanted. But when does anything ever go to plan? JL slightly AU
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer – Harry Potter belongs to J.K Rowling, not me.**

**Chapter 1**

**Attack on the underground**

"To Lily Evans, and may her good fortune prosper in other aspects of her life besides her job!"

"To Lily!"

My three friends raised their glasses, Emma sniggering and sneaking me a wink while Becky and Lucy chuckled appreciatively.

"Actually, I happen to be very happy as a single business woman."

And to be truthful, I was. Who needs men? I never had and was sure I never would. I was in an especially exultant mood as I had just been promoted. Two years after Hogwarts spent working myself to the bone at medical school and then as a trainee healer at St. Mungo's and it was finally paying off. Having been offered the position as a full time healer, I was taking the time to celebrate with my friends at a restaurant near the flat we shared in central London.

We had all been at school together although in separate houses. Emma had been in Ravenclaw and was working as an Auror. Becky had been in Hufflepuff and was now a translator for the Department of International Magical Cooperation at the Ministry. Lucy had been in Slytherin, but luckily she wasn't as nasty as the rest of them. She just had a level of cunning and wit a cut above the rest. She preferred to earn her living through writing, and although she had still failed to get any of her books published, she was a renowned journalist for the Daily Prophet. She had a keen eye for gossip.

"So, did anyone read my article on hot new couples in our society?" 

Lucy looked around expectantly, flicking her short, platinum blonde hair from side to side and giving us that penetrating stare with her crystal blue eyes.

"No? So I take it I'm the only one with any cultural knowledge?"

"If you mean nosing into other people's lives Lucy then yes, you are the only one."

Lucy grinned back at Becky.

"I'm not nosing, I'm simply taking an interest."

We all scoffed into our glasses of champagne.

"What? Anyway, if any of you _had_ read it you would have noticed that an old 'buddy' of ours featured in it this week."

Lucy looked at us all imperiously, enjoying the fact that she knew something we didn't. Emma rather ruined the effect by yawning loudly.

"Come on then, we haven't got all day. Who is it?"

Lucy sighed in defeat, but that didn't stop her from building up the dramatic tension.

"It…was…"

"LUCY!"

"Fine, fine. Don't get your knickers in a twist. It was James Potter if you really want to know."

"Huh, figures. He never could bear not being the centre of attention."

Lucy and Becky nodded in agreement but Emma gave me a stern look. She maintained that Potter wasn't actually as bad as we all made him out to be. He also worked as a top Auror alongside Emma and they had always had a mutual friendship and respect for each other.

"He was actually a very nice boy, you just never gave him a chance!"

"He never _gave_ me a chance to give him a chance! Whenever I saw him it was always 'Will you go out with me Evans?' or the, albeit polite, yet slightly more desperate 'Please, please, please will you go out with me Evans?' He's such an irresponsible, impetuous child. Thank Merlin he gave up on me and went out with that tall, skinny blonde girl…what was her name again?"

"Funny you should mention dear Camilla Thompson. Want to know why he was in the Prophet?"

"Get on with it," Emma growled warningly at Lucy.

"It would appear that 'irresponsible, impetuous' James has finally popped the question."

"To Camilla Thompson?"

I was in disbelief. James Potter the family man? It was an image that didn't readily come to mind.

"It would appear so. Three years is a long time, and she's the sort to want to get her claws in. I can imagine her cornering him into it."

"Well he's rich, well known for his talents as an Auror and he isn't bad looking either. Who wouldn't want him?" said Emma.

"Me," said Becky, Lucy and I simultaneously.

"Sure, he's hot, but he's also arrogant and conceited and idiotic. And if you marry Potter then you get the lot of those ruddy Marauders that come with him."

"Becky's right," I stated. "Marry one Marauder and you marry them all. I don't know about you but looking after four kids, one of which is your husband, before you have even thought about having children of your own is not my idea of married life."

I changed the subject to Lucy's current book. I was not keen on the topic of Potter. He'd been that constant pain in my backside throughout all the seven years I'd spent at Hogwarts with him, but I'd successfully managed to avoid him ever since. I didn't want to think about him ever again.

After several bottles of champagne and a hefty meal, we finally left the restaurant. I still hadn't told my parents about my promotion, and although it was late, I decided to visit them.

"You guys go ahead, I'm just going to see my parents," I said as I kissed them goodbye and thanked them for the evening.

"Okay. Will you be spending the night there?"

"Probably. I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yeah. Emma and Becky will be at work but I'll be at the flat."

"Great. Bye then Lucy, bye Emma, Becky."

"Bye Lily!" they chorused.

Lucy rolled her eyes and smiled at me as Emma and Becky started skipping off down the road, holding hands and singing something unrecognisable.

"On the other hand, maybe they won't be at work tomorrow. Looks like they'll both be calling in sick!"

"Sick, yeah right!"

I could easily apparate but I'd never gotten out of the habit of using the tube. I took the underground to the station closest to my parents house which happened to be near the Ministry on the outskirts of the city. The tube was deserted at this time, only a few stragglers making their way home from late nights at work.

I stood waiting for the train at the platform, wrapping my coat tight around me for comfort in the desolate station. I thought I was alone but when I looked around I saw there was a man sitting a few feet from me. I don't know why but I had the feeling he had been staring at me for some time. From my swift glance I saw he was wearing jeans under a long black overcoat. In one word I would describe him as shifty. He had dark, close cropped hair, a prominent nose and was very tall.

From nowhere I heard the distinctive sound of the train coming down the dark tunnel. I boarded the train quickly and took a seat in the brightly lit carriage. I sensed, rather than saw him, sitting close by. I didn't want to catch his eye.

My phone started to vibrate in my bag and I immediately grabbed at the opportunity to distract myself from the man. It was a message from Lucy, _I can't believe you've left me with these two idiots. They're playing twister now, come back soon PLEASE! Say hi to you're parents for me, and remember to keep safe. Love you lots, Lucy._

I smiled, but I had a feeling that Lucy's final warning was all too apt in the current circumstances. The train snaked through dark tunnels, the silence suffocating me and the ever-present feeling that I was being watched. Slowly the train surfaced from underground and I saw the moon shining down brightly, glorious even in it's crescent phase.

This October night was clean and crisp as I stepped onto the platform and made my way out of the station, yet I sensed something much more sinister in the air. I saw the dark looming figure of the man from the station out of the corner of my eye. Maybe I was being paranoid but he seemed to be following me. I walked down the street, my pace and heart rate quickening. I heard the footsteps behind me quicken also. What could I do now? I was still a little way from my parents house but I had my wand. Stuff muggle protection laws, I needed to protect myself.

I reached inside my handbag to get my wand but suddenly I found that my handbag was being wrenched out of my grasp. There he was, the man from the station. For a moment I thought with relief that perhaps it was only my bag he was after, but those thoughts were quickly erased as he threw the bag aside and grabbed me around the neck, dragging me out of the luminescent street lighting and into a narrow back alley. I screamed desperately for help but he stifled my cries.

I tried with all I had to fight him off but he was big and immensely strong. He threw me to the ground where I lay helpless. One of his hands was wrapped around my throat, choking me, while his other hand ripped open my thin white blouse. Roughly he began to claw at my breasts, bringing his coarse face close to mine. I struggled to free my throat from his fingers and I felt tears leaking from my eyes in humiliation and pain. I let out a sob as he began to lift up my plain black skirt and pull down my knickers. I heard him undoing his own trousers and I whimpered in fright. He paused in his actions to smack me around the face, hard. I struggled madly but he held his forearm against my air passage.

"Keep still you little slut," he screamed at me, pulling his trousers down.

He took my hips in his hands but all of a sudden there was a flash of red and he groaned and slumped on top of me. Someone kicked him in the side and his limp form rolled off me. That someone was lifting me up, stroking my face and saying my name over and over again but the darkness enveloped me and the voice faded into nothingness.

**A/N – What do you think? ** **Short chapter to start off with but they will get longer. Please leave a review! )**


	2. Chapter 2 Familiar Faces

**Disclaimer - Jo's. Not mine.**

_Thanks to everybody who reviewed the first chapter, I really do appreciate it. I just have to give my apologies to one reader because I'm afraid it turns out to be as cliched as you feared, but I promise that the rest of the story will have plenty of unexpected plot developments. I just had to start off with this to get the story going! I hope you don't mind, and hopefully you'll be able to stomach it just for this chapter )_

**Chapter 2**

**Familiar faces**

I awoke to soft sheets and warm sunlight, a stark contrast to the horrors of the night before. I clambered out of bed and tried to organise my thoughts. The first thing I noticed was that someone had taken my clothes and dressed me in a large T-shirt with 'Wimbourne Wasps' written across the front. Hopes that perhaps it had been my parents taking a stroll in the night who had found me and taken me back to their house faded when I realised that I didn't recognise the room I was in and, being muggles, they certainly didn't support the 'Wimbourne Wasps'.

The room I found myself in was painted pale blue and was brightly lit from the sunshine streaming through the large bay windows. The bed I had slept in was large and the bedspread deep, indigo blue. It certainly wasn't a cramped room either, even with the large chest of drawers and couch.

Curiosity got the better of me, as it often did, but looking down at myself I realised that the T-shirt was showing a little more leg than was appropriate for exploring around a stranger's house. Almost in answer to my thoughts, I spotted a fluffy white dressing gown lying on the couch. I wrapped it around me and headed for the dark wood door opposite. I stepped through to find myself in a large white bathroom with a huge glass shower in one corner and deep ivory bath in another. Well, I realised, whoever rescued me was certainly well off but this was not the door I wanted.

I opened the one on the other side of the room and emerged into a long corridor. A _very_ long corridor, which branched off into many other very long corridors. Perhaps I'd been rescued by Prince William and taken back to Buckingham Palace? An appealing thought but unlikely. I padded silently through the deserted corridors, already lost and _very _confused. Where was everybody?

I turned down yet another corridor and…there was someone standing down the other end! I ran towards them and saw they were running towards me also. There was something strange going on here. Then it dawned on me. There was no one else. I'd been looking at my reflection in a huge full length mirror hung on the wall. I laughed at the stupidity of it all, but the laughter died on my lips when I looked more closely at my reflection.

I saw the physical effects of last night for the first time. One side of my face was heavily bruised, and the lip cut. Brushing my long red hair back from my neck I saw that my attacker had left dark purple imprints from when he'd wrapped his fingers around my throat. What else had he done? Untying my dressing gown and peering down my top I noticed that my chest was riddled with bruises and fingernail marks. I wrapped the dressing gown around me for comfort but found none in the desolate halls. I stifled the sob which threatened to escape me. I felt utterly helpless but nevertheless I contained my emotions and held my head high.

Only when I looked up and into the mirror, I noticed there was someone standing behind me at the other end of the corridor, for real this time. I jumped in surprise and…recognition? I couldn't see whoever it was clearly for they were still quite far away but I could tell it was a man and there was something familiar about him. Perhaps in the way that he stood, leaning against the wall, hands stuffed in his pockets.

I whipped around.

"Who is that?" I demanded, walking cautiously towards him.

"You don't remember me?" It wasn't said with amusement, more with a hint of disappointment.

And now I did recognise him, and currently being much closer, I couldn't help but also notice that he was even more good looking then I remembered. But besides that minor observation I was completely astonished. So this was the person who'd saved me last night? Of all the people in the world it had to be him, how ironic.

"James Potter. How could I forget?"

I was expecting him to come back with one of his cocky, suggestive replies. Perhaps 'I know, totally unforgettable aren't I?' or 'How could anyone forget someone as good looking as I am?'. It was certainly the sort of reply he would have come up with when we were back at school. However, apart from looking marginally happier that I had remembered him, he passed over the remark. He was peering into my face with anxious concern.

"Are you alright after last night? Your cuts and bruises will heal but I realise it must have been mentally traumatic for you."

Wow, this James Potter was a whole lot different to the James Potter I remembered. He seemed to have…feelings.

"I'm…fine".

I avoided his gaze in the hope that he wouldn't see that what I really felt was averse to what I said. He didn't push me though.

"Was it you who saved me?"

"Yes. I was walking back from work when I heard a woman in distress and that brute screaming. I headed for the alley where I'd heard it coming from and saw him…hurting you. I didn't know it was you then. It was only after I used a stunning spell on him and kicked him off that I saw you lying there."

He looked so pained as he recounted the story, as though the memory of it hurt him as much as it hurt me.

"You fainted so I brought you back here. Millie dressed you and put you in one of the guest bedrooms."

"Oh! Oh…yes. Your fiancé, of course."

Potter was looking uncomfortable now.

"I'm sorry, did you get lost? I could show you back to your room if you'd like?"

"That would be great, thanks."

We walked back through the corridors in an uncomfortable silence. This was all too much for me to digest. In the space of about twelve hours, unless I'd been unconscious for a lot longer than I thought, I had been very nearly raped, saved by a person I'd avoided for three years and taken back to his house where he lived with his fiancé. Not to mention a fiancé who had never liked me back at school, believing me to be her rival even though I'd never shown the slightest signs of having feelings for, let alone even liking, Potter.

We arrived back in the corridor I had started in and he showed me through the door into the blue guest room.

"Here we are," he said. "Millie can lend you some clothes for now. My T-Shirt seems to be a little small."

He was looking down at my legs which were on show now as the dressing gown had come loose. There was a smirk playing around his lips which reminded me of the way he used to pervert me constantly. I was so confused and angry already, and it was just the trigger I had been looking for to lash out at. I turned on him.

"Ugh, you haven't changed a bit have you? Why I let that charade of the concerned, caring Potter fool me I don't know! You're just as arrogant and perverted as you were two years ago except this time you have a fiancé! You've always had some weird perverted crush on me. Well I won't be part of the sick fantasies you've had in mind Potter! I wouldn't be surprised if you set this whole thing up! What was the plan eh? Pay some guy to attack me before you jump in, acting the hero, and take me back to your mansion where you can trick me into trusting you and then take advantage of me?"

He looked disgusted and horrified, and I knew at once I'd gone too far. His anger now surpassed my own which was fast evaporating.

"You know what? I don't know why I even bothered! Do you even have a heart? I doubt it if that's your idea of gratitude. You could have been raped but I stopped it and I'm sorry if I disgust you but I thought, in the circumstances, that the best thing would be to bring you back here where I could care for you. I was going to ask you whether you wanted to stay here for a some time while you recover, but I guess you'd rather not. My house elf is sewing your shirt right now, but once she's finished you're welcome to leave. And I'd like my T-shirt back if that's not too much to ask."

With that he turned on his heel and strode off, disappearing from sight. Nothing could ever compare to how awful I felt at that moment. I slammed shut the door to my bedroom and dissolved into tears on the bed. Guilt and pain fed the surge of tears which had been bursting to escape since this whole ordeal began.

Despite my desperate sobbing I heard someone opening the bedroom door. I turned over on my bed and saw a house elf laying my newly mended shirt and the rest of my clothes on the couch. She turned to peer at me with large eyes. Overall she was the cleanest house elf I had ever seen. She wasn't dirty or grimy, and she wore a clean, crisp white sheet as a tunic. She readily smiled when she saw me and it added life and spark to her bright silver eyes.

"Morning miss, Binky has your clothes ready."

"Thank you…Binky."

"That is quite alright. Binky can see that you are not so happy miss. Is there anything Binky can do to help?"

She looked sad now that she realised that I was crying but smiled encouragingly nonetheless. It made me smile weakly.

"No, no. I'll be alright. Although…could you tell me where Mr. Potter is?"

"Master is taking breakfast with Mistress. He says you are welcome to join them if you wish."

"Thank you. Could you take me down once I'm dressed?"

"Of course. Binky will wait outside while miss changes."

"Thank you Binky."

I quickly put on my clothes from the night before. They had obviously been washed and ironed as well as mended. I opened the door to find Binky waiting patiently outside. She led me down a grand staircase into a brightly lit white marble entrance hall. I followed her through a door on the left into the breakfast room. Inside sat Potter and Camilla Thompson. Potter was reading the Daily Prophet ignoring me, while Camilla was gazing at me imperiously. She didn't look happy as she asked me take a seat, and the smile on her face as she asked me how I'd been since Hogwarts was a little too strained to be considered entirely genuine.

"What would miss like for breakfast?" asked Binky politely.

"A glass of orange juice will be fine," I replied.

Binky rushed out and silence descended upon them once again. Potter turned a page of his newspaper briskly, still obstinately ignoring me and Camilla sipped her tea, still looking down her nose at me. We were sitting at a long oak table covered in a white table cloth in a huge room, yet on the way down Binky had told me that it was just the breakfast room. I wondered at just how much money Potter actually had. Out of the window I could see that this house was out in the country somewhere, a long way from London. I could see woods and even a lake.

"So…"

Camilla's interruption brought me back inside the room, and I looked at her.

"James tells me you ran into some trouble outside the ministry last night."

"Y…yes. I was on my way to visit my parents at the time."

"I'm very sorry that we should meet in such upsetting circumstances. I could call in a healer to attend to your injuries if you wish?"

"Oh, no. That's alright. I'm a healer myself and these injuries are nothing serious."

"Why were you visiting your parents at so late an hour? James doesn't usually finish work until around midnight."

"Well I had been out celebrating with my friends…"

"Oh yes, you mean Emma, Rebecca and Lucy?"

Camilla looked disapproving. We had never got on with her at school. Our opinion of Camilla was that she was a snobby cow but we never got into any big fights, we had just generally avoided her. Camilla tossed her long blonde hair over her shoulder, scrutinising me with dark eyes. I looked right back with my emerald green ones.

"Yes, we were celebrating my promotion and I wanted to tell my parents. So I took the tube across London, and then when I was walking down the street that man he…he attacked me."

"I see. Well it was foolish of you to walk through the city by yourself. Why didn't one of your friends come with you?"

"Well, er, the state they were in was not one which my parents would have, er, approved of."

Camilla obviously didn't either. She sniffed and looked at James.

"These young, single career women. When will they learn James?"

"Actually, I'm the only one of us who's single".

Potter gave me a brief look but immediately turned back to his paper.

"Oh, well I'm surprised Lily. You may not be anything special to look at but you certainly aren't ugly. You should really make an effort to find yourself a man. I couldn't be more happy to have James. You will have heard our news of course? I believe it was your friend who reported it in the Daily Prophet?"

"Yes I did hear of it. Congratulations, to you both."

"Thank you. Well I really must be off, there's plenty to plan before the wedding!"

Camilla stood up, kissed Potter, who barely even acknowledged her leaving, and then headed out the room. Shortly afterwards Binky came in with my toast and some spreads. I simply buttered the toast and sat there eating eat while Potter continued to ignore me. I couldn't bear it anymore.

"Look, Potter, I realise that what I said earlier was completely out of line and I'm really very sorry."

Well at least he was looking at me now, although still with a slight crease between his eyebrows.

"I can't thank you enough for what you have done for me and most people would have thrown me out if I treated them like I did you but still you continue to look after me. I know what I accused you of was utterly disgusting but I was feeling confused and vulnerable if that's any excuse. After all, it's not everyday a girl is almost raped and then ends up in the house of her rescuer who happens to be the boy she vowed never to talk to ever again."

He smiled reluctantly.

"You vowed never to talk to me ever again? A bit extreme don't you think?"

"It wasn't to me. You made my life at school absolute hell."

I smiled to reassure him I meant no hard feelings.

"I know. Sorry, I was a jerk. I just had the biggest crush on you and really couldn't take a hint."

I laughed.

"Hint? I would have thought that slapping you about fifty times was a little more than a hint."

"Okay, fine, a little more than hint", he conceded, laughing with me now. "Back to the present, you're welcome to stay here as long as you like. Please don't be polite and refuse, I'd be happy to have you here as a guest."

I considered his offer carefully. I did so want to stay in this house, I wasn't ready to return to life in London with my new job. I just wanted to sort myself out. The night before was still haunting my every thought, what could have happened if Potter hadn't come.

"I'd love to stay."

"Great!" And he did look truly happy. "I'm going into work now. Would you like me to tell Emma about all of this?"

"Actually, I have a feeling Emma will be calling in sick today."

"Right. Well you can borrow my owl, they're probably worried sick about you."

"Thank you"

"It's no trouble. I'll be back late tonight and Millie will be out all day but if you need anything just ask Binky. She'll get you lunch and supper."

"That's very kind of you Potter."

I smiled appreciatively, and he smiled back.

"We aren't at school anymore Lily. You can call me James." Then he added as an afterthought, "But only if you're comfortable with that."

"Alright. Have a good day at work, James".

He beamed at me. Wow, since when could his smile make everything around me seem so much brighter, me included?

"Good bye Lily."

**A/N. Hey, you know what? I really do love getting reviews! hint hint.**


	3. Chapter 3 Always a child at heart

**Disclaimer - I wish**

**Chapter 3**

**Always a child at heart**

While it was only Binky and I, I decided to find my bearings in this huge house. Eventually I managed to sort out that there were two wings to the house, spanning from either side of the main entrance hall. There seemed to be about three floors above the ground floor. My room was on the first floor in the east wing. I didn't dare explore the other rooms as I'd only just managed to find my way to my room without getting lost.

Binky showed me where I was allowed to walk in the grounds, or rather, the few areas I wasn't allowed to walk. James and Camilla seemed to own a whole county. The lake was beautiful; deep and dark, it reminded me of the lake at Hogwarts which I'd loved so much. Except in the centre of this lake was a small island. I spent the afternoon rowing out in the small boat tied to the shore. The island was outlined in a ring of tall beech trees which gave it the feeling of being secret and protective. As I lay in the grass in the centre of the ring of trees, I remembered that Lucy, Emma and Becky would probably be expecting my return sometime soon. With my wand I summoned the parchment and quill Binky had given me earlier.

They came whizzing into the circle of trees, along with a fresh pot of ink only moments later. I wish I could have been there to see the looks on their faces when they read that I was staying with none other than James Potter. Emma would probably beam with joy, and tell me it was a good opportunity to get to know him better. Lucy would scoff in disgust, and Becky would give me words of comfort and consolation. I dipped my quill into the ink and began.

_Dear Emma, Becky and Lucy,_

_How are your heads this morning girls? Sorry to leave you with them last night Lucy but I got delayed. This is going to be quite a shock (really, I'm still in shock myself) but last night I never actually made it to my parents house. On the way I was attacked by a muggle who tried to rape me but before he managed to get any further than hurting me, someone came and stopped him. I fainted so only this morning did I discover it was James Potter who saved me! You aren't going to believe this but right now I'm staying in his HUGE mansion with him and his girlfriend Camilla, or fiancé now. Emma, you are going to be so smug about this, and Lucy and Becky, you are going to scoff in disbelief but he's actually an alright bloke. He wasn't back at school but now he's matured a lot, although he's still kind of cheeky. I was quite rude to him earlier and he got angry but he's being really nice about it now. He's offered to let me stay here for a few days while I get my head straight and it would be rude of me to rush off after all he's done for me. Could you possibly send a few of my things over with James when you see him at work tomorrow Emma? Thanks. Love you all lots and see you soon._

_Love from Lily_

_p.s Camilla's still a stuck up cow. I can't believe James is actually going to marry her! Poor guy._

I sealed the letter and wrote another one to tell my boss I was unwell and needed a few days off work. Then I rowed back to the shore and took the two letters into the house where I sent them off with James' beautiful tawny owl.

Later that day Binky showed me where the library was. Apparently James had told her that I enjoyed reading. I was touched that he had noticed, and even more so that he had remembered.

"This is Master's most treasured part of the whole house miss. When he is not working he is usually in here."

It didn't surprise me, the Library was exquisite. Rows and rows of bookshelves which, when you walked through them, divulged a small seating area in the middle; two comfy looking sofas on a rug before a large stone fireplace. Looking around I thought that the library must have every book ever published, it was so expansive. I contented myself with a Thomas Hardy. Binky had said the house was in Dorset, so it seemed fitting to read 'Tess of the d'Urbervilles'.

I spent the evening reading. It was a beautiful book, but as I came to the end of part one, a cold prickling feeling set itself upon my neck. I threw the book aside in horror. How ironic that I should pick up a book where the heroine is raped. I put my head in my hands, tracing my cut lip with a finger. Where was the man now? Did he walk among other people, leading a normal life? Did his friends and family know what kind of a monster he really was? I felt disgusting and unclean. I'd already had a shower that morning but the feeling just wouldn't wash away.

I considered going out of the library when suddenly a man burst out of the fireplace. He straightened up rubbing soot out of his eyes and shaking it from his naturally soot-black hair. My breath hitched.

Sirius Black.

"Prongs, you in here mate?"

Finally he opened his grey, soot clear eyes and he looked just as shell shocked as I knew I must have looked.

"Bloody hell. Is that you Evans?"

"Yes, it is."

But before he could say anymore, someone else came barrelling out of the fireplace. Someone I was much happier to see. Tall and skinny with a shock of sandy blonde hair, Remus Lupin smiled with happy disbelief when he saw me.

"Lily! I haven't seen you in years! What are you doing here of all places"

I strode past Sirius and hugged Remus. He had always been friends with me, but being friends with James also meant that I never stayed in contact with him after Hogwarts.

"It's a rather long story actually."

"Well, we've got bags of time. I assume Prongs is at work if he's not in here and we have nothing to do until he comes back."

"If you mean James then yes, he is at work."

Remus and Sirius stared at me in disbelief.

"You actually call him by his first name?" whispered Sirius in shock.

"Well, yes," I said, silently cursing myself for the blush creeping into my cheeks. "It has been two years after all, and perhaps it's time to see past old differences."

"Lily, you and James didn't just have differences. You absolutely hated him!"

Sirius mouth was still hanging wide open.

"Oh, get over it Sirius."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's just, if I had to choose between you being on first name basis with Prongs, or McGonagall helping us with our pranks, I'd say the latter was more likely."

"Well, circumstances change."

Sirius looked puzzled but Remus sat me down on the couch.

"And what would these circumstances be?"

"You must have seen the marks on my face and neck Remus."

"I thought that had something to do with it, but I'll leave you to tell us in your own time."

"To cut a long story short, James saved me from being…raped last night and he brought me back here. I've a lot to thank him for."

"You were nearly raped? Oh, I'm so sorry Lily."

Remus leaned over and hugged me consolingly and I welcomed the close comfort.

"I can't imagine the clam is all that happy about you being here", sniggered Sirius.

"The clam?"

Sirius chuckled again but Remus looked disapproving.

"Ignore him; he's just never really taken to Camilla."

"Well neither have you Moony. At least I'm man enough to admit it. I came up with the name", he said, turning back around to look at me with distinct pride. "Ever since James started going out with her in 7th year to get over you, she's just latched herself on to him, like a clam."

"How…clever."

"I know, except you can't call her that in front of James. He'd be devastated if he knew we didn't actually like her."

"Does he really love her that much?"

"We aren't all that sure. He never actually talks about it, but we think he's just marrying her for the sake of it. Like I said, he only started going out with her to try and get over you, and after that I think he just couldn't be bothered to find anyone else. And hey presto, she's cornered him into marriage. James' parents don't like her either. We just have this silent agreement that we don't talk about the cla…er…sorry Remus, I mean _Camilla_ with him."

"But you're his friends? If it's not what he really wants shouldn't you be stopping him?"

Sirius and Remus looked at me in bewilderment.

"Why do you care about James' well being all of a sudden Lily?"

"Er…well…you know. After what he did for me last night…I'm just looking out for him, that's all."

I avoided Remus' eye. Why did I care so much, this was Potter! Argh! Why am I acting so immature? It's _James _now, and I can be concerned for him can't I? There's no harm in that.

"Hey, so if we are 'Seeing past old differences' then you're totally over the whole pushing you in the lake thing and all the other pranks we pulled on you?"

Sirius was looking nervous, and so he should be. That was the most humiliating moment of my life! Actually no, I think the time when they stole my underwear and hung it over the Gryffindor table at breakfast was the most embarrassing moment of my life. But if James could be mature, then so could I.

"Sure," I said sticking out my hand. Sirius looked relieved as he shook it.

"Thank Merlin, 'cos that temper of yours can get pretty nasty."

I glared at him and he had the grace to shrink back in terror, but then my face broke out in a grin.

"Past differences Sirius. Is there anything more fun to do around here? I'm getting bored."

"Sure there is! This house is huge, there's tons to do! Is the clam here?"

"She might be back now, but she's busy organising the wedding."

"Great. Could you help get a few mattresses Remus?"

Remus groaned but I had absolutely no clue what Sirius was planning.

"Padfoot, you know Camilla doesn't like it when you do this."

"Stuff the clam. We need fun!"

Sirius dashed out the room, Remus following him, advising him against whatever it was he was planning. I followed also. I smiled despite myself when I looked up at the top of the stairs. Sirius was summoning mattresses from the bedrooms and sticking them on the Grand staircase to create one huge, long slide.

"Get up here Lily!" called Sirius.

I laughed and apparated to the top of the staircase.

"Wanna go first?"

"Er, no that's alright actually."

"What, not scared are we Miss. Evans?" he teased.

Scared? Ooh, I'd show him.

"Certainly not," I said defiantly, sticking my chin in the air. "I was going to save you the humiliation of being upstaged by a girl, but I guess you deserve it now."

Sirius grinned. "Thatta girl," he said as he shoved me down the slide, catching me totally unawares.

I gasped as I tumbled down the slide, but then I began to level out, and as I reached the end of the slide, I went skidding across the white marble floor…right into Camilla.

"A little old for childish games like this aren't we Lily," she said nastily. "No doubt it was Sirius Blahhhhhhh!"

"Watch out!" cried Sirius as he crashed straight into Camilla, sending her to the floor. She got up slowly, glaring at Sirius with intense dislike.

"Why don't you just grow up?!" she screamed as she stormed out of the entrance hall.

I stared after her.

"Merlin, I didn't used to be like that did I?"

"Neh, at least you were interesting. Ready for round two?"

When James came back from work a little while later it was to find Sirius and I sliding down the mattress slide, Remus now having reluctantly slid down a couple of times. Sirius was very complimentary on my sliding skills and I in turn praised his technique. As James walked in through the door I was going down head first. I slid across the floor and landed right in front of him, much as I had earlier with Camilla. But James' grin was genuine, not nasty.

"Playing the old mattress slide game eh? My turn next Padfoot!"

With that he apparated to the top of the stairs where Sirius pounced on him laughing, sending them both down the slide.

"Prongsie, we've missed you!"

I laughed as they came tumbling down the slide, but it faltered when I realised they were tumbling towards me.

"Oof," was all I could manage as they both landed on top of me.

"I think we might be sitting on top of Lily, Prongs!"

"No, I think it's just a very comfortable and squidgy piece of floor, Padfoot."

"Squidgy?" I cried indignantly, but it was slightly muffled due to the fact that my face was pressed against the floor, luckily not the bruised side. "Are you calling me fat?"

"Wow, the floor talks and all!" said Remus as he came down the slide to join them in the game of sit-on-Lily-and-pretend-she-isn't-there. A game I was not enjoying as much as the rest of them seemed to be.

Binky came to my rescue.

"If you please sirs, I think you is suffocating Miss. Lily."

"Oh, are we?" said Sirius.

They stood up and James helped me to my feet.

"Sorry, didn't see you there Lily."

"Sure you didn't," I growled.

With a flick of his wand James made the mattresses disappear.

"You better go see Camilla, James. She isn't too happy with us at the moment."

"Oh, er, right. Yes, I'll go see her now." James took his hand off my arm which he'd kept there since helping me to my feet and walked off to find Camilla.

"Poor James," said Sirius. "How long are you staying here then Lily?"

"Oh, I don't know. A few days maybe. How about you two?"

"About a week I'd say. Maybe longer, we're always coming to visit James as neither of us have proper jobs."

"Oh I see, so you just scab off James do you?" I said grinning.

"Yep, works for me," said Sirius, yawning and scratching his chest.

"Time for bed I think. Pillow fight in my room?"

"Maybe tomorrow Sirius," chorused Remus and I as we headed up to our separate rooms.

3rd person viewpoint

James took his hand off Lily's arm and walked up the stairs, his hand still tingling with the sensation he always got from her touch. He ignored it and walked into his and Camilla's bedroom. He found Camilla sitting on the huge double bed in the centre of the bare, cold room. She was sniffling and when she saw him enter she stood abruptly. He stood on the other side of the bed and regarded her.

"I want them out!" she said shrilly.

James' anger reared momentarily. She had no right to dictate who came into their house, especially one that he had bought! But he quelled the thought and spoke calmly.

"They're my best friends Millie. You marry me and you're going to have to deal with them as well. And what harm were they doing?"

"They're acting like total idiots! I can't bear it James. This is a house, not a playground!"

_What's going to stop her ranting on? _thought James.

"Well, they'll be company for the kids!"

He expected her to be immediately distracted from the matter of Sirius and Remus when he mentioned kids, something she'd been bothering him about for a while now. But when he said this she paled and looked at him with horror.

"CERTAINLY NOT! James, we need to get this straight, I won't have our children misbehaving like you used to at school. I want them to be kept apart from Remus and Sirius as much as possible. They'll grow up to be polite and proper."

Oh Merlin, he wasn't looking forward to having a load of nancy boy's for sons and dull do-good daughters. He wanted his kids to roam the school at night like he did when he was at school. He wanted to give them his invisibility cloak and have them exploring the secret passageways and rooms which the marauders had found. He decided to get off the topic of children.

"Remus doesn't act like an idiot. And Sirius is just having fun, he can't help it."

"But they're influencing Lily now! I would expect her at least to understand what I'm getting at but no, now she's joining in with their stupid little games!"

James smiled to himself, how strange it was to see Lily playing with Sirius like they were old friends! Lily Evans, who would have thought it? She was certainly showing a side of herself he'd never gotten to know while they were at school, not that she'd ever given him the chance.

"James, stop staring into space and listen to me!"

"Sorry, what?"

"I said that I'm sure Lily would like to be getting back to her friends now?"

"I don't think so," he said dismissively, knowing where she was going with this. "She seems to be having fun here and this morning she said she'd be happy to stay for a little longer. We've got plenty of room for her here and Binky can make sure she's well looked after."

Camilla did not look happy, more suspiciously disapproving.

"Why did you bring her here James? Couldn't you have taken her to St. Mungo's?"

James panicked.

"Er…well. I wasn't thinking, and it's better for her here anyway. She can relax and get her thoughts straight."

That was partly true, but in reality when James had found her the night before, he'd been overcome with this feeling to protect her and the only place he could do that was at his home. Her bloody, ravaged body had filled him with such terrible anger and despair that he'd apparated straight here to have her cared for. How could that man do something so awful to someone so precious?

But no, he shouldn't be thinking these things, he'd realised long ago that he couldn't have Lily and he'd accepted that. However painful at the time, he'd accepted it.

**A/N – I LOVE the slide game. Sorry, just had to get it in there somewhere. And Sirius, glad he's come into it now. What's a marauder story without the one and only Sirius Black eh? Thanks so much for the reviews so far. So what did you all think of this chapter?**


	4. Chapter 4 Midnight Kisses

**Disclaimer ****– I think we all know who really wrote Harry Potter…**

**A/N**** - Right, so some of you may be wondering where I've been for the past few months and there really aren't any excuses to give (which is surprising since I'm so well practised at them after 15 or so years of going to school. Well, I was a little angel at nursery school actually and didn't know enough words to form a coherent excuse anyway but there you are. I feel I'm going off topic…sorry, back to the point…). I just wanted to change some things about this chapter so anyone who has already read this on another site will find that A LOT has changed with this chapter and I may change other things with later chapters too – in a way which I hope you'll think is improved fingers crossed. Thanks for all your reviews and patience – both are really valued. SweetSouthernGal has been especially helpful - thank you for all your advice ) So without further ado, I give you Chapter 4…**

**Chapter 4**

**Midnight kisses**

_Dear Lily,_

_Emma__ and Becky are back at work now after recovering from their…malady a couple of days ago, and they're just as flabbergasted as I am! James Potter? Of all the people who could have rescued you and it had to be James Potter?! An 'alright bloke' you say? In what way, Lily my sweet, is he an 'alright bloke'? I've seen him recently and I have to say, even if he is a right pain in the ass, I wouldn't blame you! Except you'd have to bump off Ca-look at me I'm blonde and skinny so I can treat everyone like dirt-milla first. I can't believe you almost got raped! Well, if Potter saved you then I suppose he is an 'alright bloke'. We're all really worried about you, and Emma and Becky send all their love. Come back soon!_

_Love you lots,_

_Lucy_

I folded the letter up and lay it atop the dresser in my room, then walked over to the window and opened it, feeling the cool Autumn morning breeze on my face. Over the last couple of days my bruises had definitely gone down, and most of the small cuts had healed. The marks around my neck, however, were still pretty vivid. Emma had given James a bag of things for me, as well as numerous 'Get Well Soon' cards, boxes of chocolates, a couple of balloons and, best of all, a giant fluffy teddy bear.

"Wow, the most I get when I'm ill is some gruesome concoction my mum's made," James had said as he gave them all to me.

I smiled at the memory. Sirius, Remus and I had been swimming in the lake at the time (I had borrowed a swimsuit from a reluctant Camilla) and after James had put my things on the shore, Sirius thought that the best thing to do would be to pull James in with us. At first he'd had this adorable look of shock on his face, but then he'd grinned and dunked Sirius under the water. Afterwards we'd swum to the little island in the centre to lie on the grass and dry off.

I hadn't had this much fun in so long. It was great back at the flat with the girls but we were always at work or they'd be out with their boyfriends. I was unwilling to leave this house and James had said that my invitation was open-ended, that I could stay as long as I wanted. But at the thought I immediately felt guilty. James was getting married, even if she was an nasty bit of work, and it wasn't fair that I should be spending all this time with him. With Sirius and Remus it was fine because they were unshackled, and perhaps if I was totally honest with myself, I was starting to have stronger feelings for James than I did for either Remus or Sirius.

I didn't know how he felt about me. Certainly he'd had a huge crush on me back at school, but I was positive he was over that now. And what was a crush anyway? It didn't involve proper feelings.

"Hey Lils!"

I looked down in surprise to see Sirius, Remus and James running towards the lake in their trunks. Merlin, I must have looked so ditzy with my elbows resting on the window sill, chin resting on my hands and staring dreamily up at the sky.

"Wanna come for a swim?" called Sirius.

"Sure, I'll be down in a minute!"

I quickly changed into my pale blue swimsuit, grabbed a towel and headed out the door. But just before I went down to the lake, I ran to the full length mirror in which I'd first seen James. I scrutinised my reflection. Not bad, but my red hair was a mess, I hadn't bothered to comb it since I got up and it was twisting and looping all over the place. Oh well, there wasn't time for it now. I raced down to the lake. I saw the boys standing on the edge, egging each other to go into the cold water. Silently I sneaked up behind Sirius.

"Prongs, as man of the house, I think it should be you who goes in first"

"No, no. That's quite alright Padfoot. Please, be my guest."

"Oh, I couldn't possibly. Moony dear friend how about you? I - what the…?"

Sirius was too shocked to resist as I shoved him into the water. He surfaced looking indignant but amused.

"Right, that's it Lily Evans. You've made an ass of me one too many times."

"We'll sort her out Padfoot," said James taking one of my arms while Remus took the other.

"What? No! No, please, have mercy!"

"We have no mercy!" said Remus as they threw me in with Sirius.

As soon as I was in Sirius pounced, dunking me under the water and laughing uncontrollably. When I came back up James and Remus were already in the water, laughing at me. My teeth were chattering and I could feel my lips turning blue.

"It's v-v-very chi-chilly in here," I said, wrapping my arms around me for warmth. To be fair it was October, I couldn't believe I was out here in the first place! "How come none of y-you are c-c-cold?"

"Well, we're all big strapping men aren't we," replied Sirius. "Except Moony here, he's weedy, but he is a man. Actually I sometimes wonder about that as well."

"Oi!" said Remus, jumping on Sirius' back and pushing his head under the water. While Sirius struggled with Remus, James swam over to me and wrapped his arms around me protectively. I was caught unawares but it was certainly much warmer now that I was pressed against his chest.

"Better?" he asked, grinning down at me.

But I just gazed un-answering up at his face in shock. Intensity buzzed almost audibly in the silence which ensued and his smile slowly slid from his face as he too registered the position we were in. Then my eyes flicked down to his lips, which were slightly parted. I so wanted him to kiss me, not just to dispel the cold, but because I wanted to feel his lips on mine. At that moment I thought that maybe he would. He was certainly staring with the same longing at my lips, but then he suddenly released me.

Disappointed, I turned around to look at Sirius and Remus. They'd both been watching us for some time and looked astounded. But I thought that perhaps I could see disappointment on Sirius' and Remus' faces that we hadn't kissed.

I blushed and said quickly, "Let's swim over to the island."

I headed towards it and they followed. We lay in the grass, our heads in a circle staring up at the clear blue sky.

"So where's Pettigrew? I seem to remember him being a Marauder."

"Yeah, we don't actually know. Every now and then he'll come back into the picture but mostly he's off doing something else," sighed Remus.

"He's probably found someone else to latch on to," said James.

"Talking about people who latch on…" Remus elbowed Sirius hard in side, "I - I mean on a totally unrelated topic, where is Camilla?"

"She said something about a wedding dress at breakfast this morning but I wasn't really listening," I said.

"Yes, and her mother's helping out. I think she said she'd be staying with her tonight."

"Well, me and my ol' buddy Remus here have to go and see a man about a job."

"We do? Oh!...Oh yes, we do!"

"A job? So you two are going to finally start paying your own way in the world?"

"Yes, I think we are dear Prongs. But we'll be back in time for the full moon tomorrow night, never fear."

I frowned.

"What's so important about the full moon?"

"Nothing Lily, nothing," said Remus chuckling nervously. "We were just telling James when we'd be back, that's all!"

"Oh, right," I said getting to my feet.

But as I walked to the edge of the island, I distinctly heard Sirius mutter, "That was a close one boys."

Sirius and Remus had left a few hours later and I was in my room making my way through the books I'd borrowed from the library here. I had no idea where James was, probably in his own room. I couldn't help thinking about the fact that he was alone in there tonight, however much I tried to stop thinking about him. The moon outside my window looked perfect although I knew it wasn't quite perfect yet, it wouldn't be full until tomorrow night.

I got into my pyjamas and then nestled myself on the couch and carried on reading my book. But it wasn't so good as to distract me from the tapping at my window. Curious, I walked over and pulled back the heavy blue curtains. I almost fell over from shock and fright! James was hovering on his broomstick outside my window in his pyjama bottoms and 'Wimbourne Wasps' shirt which I had been wearing on my first night here. He was grinning and gesturing with one hand for me to come with him.

Once I had recovered from the shock I laughed at how ridiculous he could be. I opened the window. The night was quite mild for October, but it still brought goose-bumps to my skin.

"James, what are you doing?"

"I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd do some flying. Want to come with me?"

"Oh, because _everyone _likes to go for a little midnight flying session in the middle of October. Yes, that's completely sane James."

"So I take it you're not up for it then?" He sighed heavily. "Ah well, I never took you for a chicken but I guess I was wrong."

"Now wait just one second!" I said. "Lily Evans is many things but _chicken_ she most certainly is not!"

"Glad to hear it," he replied with a wicked smile.

I glared back savagely.

"You knew that would work on me didn't you?"

"I believe they call that one 'hook, line and sinker' milady."

I grabbed the jumper from the end of my bed and shoved it over my head.

"This is absurd," I said as I carefully stepped onto the windowsill. "Only James Potter would go on a broomstick ride in the middle of the night."

"Only Lily Evans would agree to go with him."

"That's not the sort of thing Lily Evans would do!"

"Oh," he said looking amused. "Are you not Lily Evans then?"

"Maybe not the same Lily Evans as before," I conceded, both of us knowing what 'before' meant. "But neither are you the same James Potter."

"Can't argue fairer than that. Careful now," he said, holding out a hand to help me on the back of the broom.

Once my leg was over, the broom went shooting off as though it had been waiting impatiently all this time for me to get on just so it could fly away. I had to hold James around his waist to keep myself from sliding off the end and I was quite comfortable.

"You're not afraid of heights are you?"

"Not at all. Can this thing go any higher?"

He smiled admiringly and pulled the broom upwards. The night air whipped my hair back, and it streamed behind me. James' messy hair was blowing around in all directions so I removed one hand from his waist and lay it on his head in an attempt to smooth his hair down.

"It won't lie flat," he said. "Believe me, I've tried."

"Have you ever thought about cutting it?"

"No. It would just grow back in a matter of days anyway. Why? Do you have a problem with my hair?"

He turned around and grinned at me. I'd always been rather rude about his hair when we were back at school.

"Actually no. I think it's charming."

The broom jumped in his grip, and I couldn't help but laugh at his reaction. We drifted above the clouds for some time where the air was still and my loose hair merely lay around my shoulders. Slowly we started to descend and eventually we landed on the small island surrounded by trees in the centre of the lake. James levelled the broom out and landed softly on the grass. He jumped down from the hovering broom and helped me off also before laying the broom in the grass and walking over to the edge of the island, pulling me behind by the hand. We sat on the edge, our toes in the cold water, facing the house. I admired it as I always had, although I couldn't imagine ever living in a place like that.

"You're so lucky to have all this," I said. "It's beautiful."

James made a sound of assent but didn't look so convinced.

"What? Do you not like it?"

"Well, it's certainly beautiful."

There was something there left unsaid, but I didn't push him. The leaves rustled above us and I could almost hear him thinking, hesitating, wondering whether he should proceed and what were the right words to use - until finally…

"I'm just not sure if it's what I really want."

Still I was silent.

"I mean, I can't really imagine myself living here for the rest of my life. I always wanted just a small place where I could bring up a family." He was looking wistfully up at the branches of the tree we were leaning against. "I'm not really sure that's what Millie wants though so…"

He trailed off, aware that whatever he hadn't said directly had been clear enough in what he _had_ said. He looked sideways at me and all of a sudden I noticed just how close we were. Our thighs were pressed together and our bare calves grazed past each other. And his lips…his lips were inches from my own. I could feel his warm breath on my face.

"Lily I…I have something to tell you which I haven't even told Millie. But you have to promise me that you won't tell anybody because this does not just involve me."

He looked anxious that I should understand but I was getting more and more confused. Is this why he'd brought me out here, to divulge some secret?

"Yes, I promise. But what is it? Why are you telling _me_ this?"

"Remus wants you to know-"

"So it's Remus' secret?"

"Yes-"

"And does he know you're telling me this?"

"Of course he does!" James said, affronted that I'd even suggested he'd betray his friend's trust.

"Sorry," I said quickly. "I know how loyal you all are, I shouldn't have suggested otherwise."

"No," he said abrasively, "You shouldn't have."

"Don't start getting tetchy with me!" I said defensively. "I said I was sorry didn't I?"

"That still doesn't change the fact you accused me of betraying one of my best friends!"

"I did no such thing! I only wanted to make sure you weren't about to say something you'd regret-"

I really didn't have time to draw breath before his hand was curled around my neck and his lips pressed firmly to my own. There wasn't even time to register just how soft his lips were, or just how sweet they tasted because after a matter of seconds it was over. The tingling sensation in my lips, however, was testimony to the effect his kiss had. He pulled away slowly so that his lips were still brushing against mine when he spoke.

"If I'd known that would shut you up so effectively I would have done it more at school."

His attempt to sound rational and light-hearted didn't fool me for a moment. His voice shook ever so slightly and the hand on my neck wasn't faring much better. Neither was I for that matter. My brain and mouth seemed to have lost all connection and though I urged myself to say something, my mouth disobeyed – probably longing to crush itself against James' once more.

"I'm sorry I accused you of betraying Remus."

He blinked in surprise before smiling.

"And I'm sorry I was so harsh."

"That's alright," I said weakly, still staring at his lips. It was only when I realised they were moving that I realised he was speaking to me again.

"What was that?" I asked.

"Are you okay?"

"Oh right, yeah. Yeah, fine…you?"

He chuckled, not realising that the feel of his breath on my lips and the sight of his mouth stretching widely in that irresistible smile was _really _not helping my condition.

"Couldn't be better," he said. "I've finally figured out how to subdue Lily Evans. I think I deserve some kind of reward."

Would another kiss do?

"Shut up," I said, blushing and pushing his hand off my neck as I realised he was making fun of me. Both of us seemed extremely good at acting as though we _hadn't_ just kissed, _enjoyed_ it and what's more – were frantic for another go. Or maybe that was just me. "Are you going to tell me what this big secret is then?"

"Ah right, yeah. So um, as I was saying before we got…_distracted._"

I blushed even more, but luckily it was too dark to see.

"It's kind of important to Remus that you know this since you're now pretty good friends, but also we all agreed we don't want to lie to you tomorrow about what we'll be doing at the full moon."

_Full moon_What did that have to do with anything?

Quite a lot as it turned out.

"No," I said in quiet disbelief.

"Yes," James assured calmly.

Hearing the truth is a funny thing. Even when you know it can't possibly be a lie you will carry on trying to convince yourself it is, even if that means evading all sense. What James had just told me hadcaused the world to turn upside down completely, and the only way I could try and put it right again was to pretend it wasn't true.

"_No!"_

"_Yes!_"

"It can't be true."

"Trust me Lily, it can."

"But it's not possible!"

"How is it not possible?"

"Well he's…he's Remus!"

"It doesn't change who he is."

"I know that," I said quickly. Of course it didn't make me think any less of Remus. But Remus? Dear, sweet, dependable Remus - a werewolf? I was like mixing chocolate and steak together in a pie – it just didn't work!

"How long's he had to deal with this?" I asked James as he sat there looking steadily at me.

"Since he was four."

Four. Four years old. Remus had only ever known four years without the burden of his condition, and he'd still turned out the kindest man I knew.

"It must be tough, going through that alone each month."

James shifted uncomfortably beside me and cleared his throat.

"Yeah, that's what we thought when we found out."

I nodded. Yes, the Marauders weren't the sort of people to take the suffering of a friend lightly. They'd most likely do anything to help. Even if that something was…oh _hell _no!

"James," I said slowly. "_Please_ tell me you didn't do something insanely stupid in order to help him out."

An echoing pause followed.

"Well that depends on what you'd constitute as 'insanely stupid'."

"JAMES!"

"What?! I would have told you eventually anyway!"

"So you _did_ do something stupid then! I _knew _it! I just _knew _it! What is it James? Did you let him bite you all so you could keep him company at the full moon?"

"Er, not quite, But you're warm."

"Merlin's nightgown James, how is this in any way funny?!"

"I'm not laughing!"

"You're doing something illegal aren't you, is that it? Oh please James, tell me that's not it."

"Well do you want me to lie to you?"

I stared at him in disbelief.

"So," I said as calmly as I possibly could. "What you are doing is not only insanely stupid, it's also against the law?"

He didn't need to confirm it.

I sighed. Really, it shouldn't have even shocked me that they'd do something illegal eventually after a lifetime of rule-breaking. They had to step it up at some point didn't they?

"Go on then, what did you do?"

James hesitated, biting on his lip.

"Promise you won't get mad?"

"I'm not promising anything."

There was no yielding on my part and he knew there was no use trying.

"Alright, but any physical abuse and I'm jumping on that broomstick and leaving you here all night."

"Fair enough."

"Right," he said, still looking nervous. "So, we found out about it pretty quick at Hogwarts. We couldn't miss it really, with all the 'sick mum' excuses every month and the haggard state he was always in. It wasn't easy for him, admitting it to us after we confronted him; he thought we'd desert him see? And even then he was unwilling to talk about it. So, after a few months of discussion between the other three of us we decided that we needed to do something to show him we weren't going to leave him, something that would actually make us stronger friends and which would also help him out at the full moon."

He paused and I looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to go on.

"So the short story is, we figured out how to become Animagi."

Nothing. Not a sound or a movement or a hint that even time was still moving. Nothing apart from the fact that my brain was whirring like mad.

"And-" I began before my voice caught in my throat. "And this was at Hogwarts?"

"Yep," he said quietly, his eyes flickering towards mine and then lowering to his lap again. "But we only actually achieved it in fifth year."

"'_Only fifth year'_?" I said in laughing disbelief. "I was fretting about stupid OWL level spells in fifth year! James, that's not insanely stupid! That's _brilliant_!"

But James was still reluctant to look me in the eye.

"Come on James, I'm not angry at you anymore, I promise. I was only worried because you'd made me think it was something stupid and illegal! Being and Animagus isn't stupid _or _illegal!"

"Technically it is…"

Oh no.

"…if you're unregistered."

The urge to push him into the lake was so overwhelming that I had to stand up and take a step back in order to keep my 'no physical abuse' promise.

"HOW DAFT CAN YOU BE?! YOU CAN GO TO AZKABAN FOR THAT YOU IMBECILE! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?"

"Lils-"

"WHAT? DO YOU GET OFF ON PUTTING YOURSELF IN DANGER OR SOMETHING? I MEAN, WHAT KIND OF A NUT-CASE-"

"Lils, calm down or I'll have to kiss you again," he pulled me back down to the ground. I was half-tempted to stand up again to see if he'd follow through with that threat.

"You never saw the pain Remus went through once a month," he whispered quietly. "We did and we couldn't bear it. It took us a while but once it was completed we could accompany him in his transformations. It didn't exactly ease the pain, but at least he knew we were there for him and we could distract him from biting and scratching himself in the absence of any humans to attack."

"I know James," I said, touched that he would do something like this for his friend. "But did you ever stop to think about what you were doing?"

"I never needed to," he replied softly but firmly. "There was nothing to consider but Remus. His pain far excels any prison-sentence."

I really didn't know what else to say. For the first time ever I realised just how close the Marauders were.

"What animal are you?"

"A stag. But I don't do displays so don't ask," he said grinning and running a hand through his hair in relief when he realised I wasn't going to grill him on his decision any longer.

"And the others?"

"Sirius is a dog, and Peter a rat."

"A rat? Poor guy. So is that why Remus and Sirius pretended to go on a job hunt? So that you could tell me?"

"No, actually I don't know what that was all about. They'd agreed we'd tell you together but I guess that plan went down the drain."

We sat a little longer, looking out over the lake. It was only when we realised we were both shivering that we remembered we were still outside.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to keep you out here all night. We can go back now if you want."

"Sure."

We mounted the broomstick once again and James kicked off from the ground. The journey back was silent and I almost fell asleep against James' back; except the magnitude of what I'd heard tonight kept whirling around inside my head, preventing any chance of rest. The warmth of my bedroom was comforting after being in the chill night air for so long and I hastily climbed through the window as James hovered beside it.

"Thanks James."

"For what?" he asked, tilting his head slightly.

"You know, trusting me enough to tell me all that when I could very easily blackmail you with that information."

"Oh well," he said with a sigh. "I guess I have no choice but to make sure we always stay friends now – since you'd be a very formidable enemy armed with that secret."

"I think we make good friends," I said honestly.

"We do," he said. "It's a pity it took us so long to realise it."

"What's nine years in a life-time?"

"True," he said, suppressing a yawn.

"I think it's time you got some rest, seeing as you'll be spending all of tomorrow night awake as well. Plus I don't want you falling asleep on a broom suspended twenty feet in the air."

"I've had worse accidents."

"Don't pull the macho act on me James. Now shoo – go get some sleep!"

"Alright, alright. Goodnight then Lily, sleep well."

"Night. Oh, and by the way - I expect breakfast in bed tomorrow morning if you want to stay friends."

**A/N – ****So, some Lily and James action at last! Hope it didn't seem like too much too soon or indeed too little. Balance has never been one of my strong points. As always – reviews are welcomed and more than appreciated!**


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